Everybody Loves Krassk



  • Krassk: Trandoshan comedian
  • Gord: Wookie butler
  • Mace: Human, force sensitive next door neighbor
  • Laney: Krassk’s Human friend/ex-girlfriend
  • Ruger: Krassk’s Human loser best friend

Episode 1: Pilot

All the main characters are introduced.
Premise: The trandoshan comedian’s car is hit by a wookie driving a speeder. The wookie can’t afford the repairs and has no speeder insurance, so the judge sentences him to be Krassk’s butler.

Episode 2: Here’s Gary

Laney is introduced.
There’s a ring on the door. Gord answers it and greets the SPS (Space Parcel Service) man. Krassk accepts the package and opens the crate and an adult Vornskr jumps out and lands on Gord and starts licking his face. Gord yells, “Gary. I’ve missed you too!” Gord’s parents sent his dog to him. All kinds of shenanigans ensue. Gary’s jumping on the table, his giant tail knocks stuff over, he’s not house trained. All upsets Krassk. Especially him because he’s such a neat freak.
Mace walks in. “Nice dog.” Gary jumps on Mace and tries to eat him. Turns out Mace is a force sensitive and Gary was trained to hunt them.
Laney walks in. Gary turns his attention to her and jumps on her and starts licking her face. Krassk says, “Good news, mace. Looks like Gary adores Laney more than he hates you.”

Aired on: Nar Shaddaa, Core Worlds

Episode 3 : The Soup Jedi

Gruman is introduced.
Krassk answers a knock on the door. There stands Gruman. Mace’s best friend and Krassk’s nemesis. Krassk says snidely, “Hello, Gruman.” Gruman replies in the same tone, “Hello, Krassk.” They have a weird stare-down until Gruman asks where Mace is. “Where’s Mace. He’s go to try out this new soup restaurant. Best I’ve ever Had.” Krassk says that he’ll tell him. They exchange menacing glances and he leaves.
Gruman and Mace go to the Jedi, grab some soup and it’s awesome. They go back and tell Krassk about the soup and the ordering procedure. “Great soup. Owner’s a bit of an eccentric. He has a very strict ordering procedure and he hates questions and ‘chit-chat’. They call him the soup Jedi.”
Krassk and Laney go check it out. Laney acts like her goofball self and the Jedi throws her out. Later, Mace and the Jedi become friends. Mace tells him that his friend (Laney) recently had her armoir stolen by some gay street toughs. He says that he has a spare and will give it to him. Mace tells Laney and she’s very excited. She runs down to the Soup Jedi in person. the Jedi tells her that if he would have known it was for her, he would have smashed it with a vibro ax. Laney Later finds all his recipes in the armoir. She goes back and tells the Jedi, “You’re done, Soup Jedi…Next!”

Aired on: Nar Shaddaa, Core Worlds

Episode 4 Traffic Court

Laney starts dating a friend of Mace (Bro) who has violent tendencies and is seeing a psychiatrist. After the data for a while, bro’s doctor goes on vacation with Laney and he can’t get his meds.
Mace lets it slip that Krassk didn’t invite Bro to his New Years Eve party on The Wheel. Bro starts to lose his mind without his meds. He later runs into Mace on the street and kicks him in the head. Luckily, Mace was wearing a speeder bike helmet he got in a trade with Gruman. He tells Mace that Krassk is next.
Gruman, had recently gotten a ticket and had to go to traffic court. Gruman concocts a story to tell the judge. Gruman was speeding home to see his friend (Mace) because he was depressed because he just found out he could never be a banker. He said that Mace go turned down for the third time from the Banking Clan.
However, once Mace is in the witness chair, he can’t remember the story, because of the earlier kick in the head. A hilarious interaction ensues and Gruman has to spend the night in jail.

Aired on: Nar Shaddaa, Core Worlds

Episode 5 The PEZ Dispenser

The episode begins in Krassk’s apartment. Ruger is asking Krassk if he wants to accompnay him to the symphony. Ruger has been dating a violinist and she wants Ruger to go. “Come with me. I’ll feel like a dork if I go by myself. I can get free tickets for you and Gord and I’ll even rent the tuxedos.” Krassk says, “Fine. but if we came back and Gary has wrecked my apartment, you’re gonna clean up the mess.” Ruger says, “Why do I gotta clean it? You have a butler.” Krassk replies, “He’s not my butler anymore. His sentence is up and we’re just roommates now. I’ll ask Laney if she can dog-sit while we’re out.”
The next night is the date for teh symphony.
Laney Shows up to Krassk’s apartment. “Hey, Krassk. I was at a flea market yesterday and I got you this cool PEZ dispenser. It looks like Jabba the Hutt.” Krassk accepts the gift. “Cool. I haven’t seen on of these for years.”
Ruger shows up with the tuxedos and Krassk and Gord go put them on. Krassk comes out in his tux. “Nice tux. They did a great job altering them to fit my big meaty claws.” Gord walks out in his tux and it looks ridiculous. It’s a little too small and hair is sticking out of all the wrong places. Ruger and Krassk convince him it looks good while holding back their laughter. "Well, we better get going. The Corellian Sector is pretty busy this time of night.
They get there and everyone is looking at Gord in his ridiculous tuxedo. “See Gord, everyone thinks you look cool.”
The scenes go back and fort from the symphony and the apartment, where Gary has gotten out and is creating havoc all over the building whle Laney is chasing after him.
The symphony is going on and Krassk is screwing around with his PEZ and Ruger starts laughing during his girlfriend’s violin solo. Just then, Crazy Bro Divola jumps off the balcony and, in mid-air, yells, “Krassk!” Gord catches him and smashes him into th ground.
Because of the attempted assassination, the symphony ends early. All three are backstage talking to Ruger’s girlfriend. She says, “the attempt on Krassk’s life was bad enough, but can you believe some jerk was laughing during my solo?” Ruger gets a funny look on his face. She says, “It was you!.” Ruger says, “It’s not my fault. Krassk was screwing around with the PEZ dispenser and made me laugh.” She freaks out and breaks up with Ruger.
They get back to the apartment and Laney is all messed up. Her hair is a mess and her clothes are torn up. “That’s the last time I babysit your dog!.”

Aired on: Nar Shaddaa, Core Worlds

Episode 6 The Rickshaw

The episode begins in Krassk’s apartment. Krassk and Ruger are sitting around talking about stupid stuff and Gord is playing with Gary. Mace and Gruman burst through the door, “We just came up with a great idea!” Gary freaks out and jumps on Mace’s leg and starts chewing on him. Gord pulls him off and grunts. Krassk says, “Gord is right. Gary really doesn’t like you.” Gord grunts againg. Krassk says, " Gord says he doesn’t like you either." An uncomfortable silence fills the room. Krassk and Gord look at each other and laugh. “He’s just messing with ya. Anyway. Hello, Gruman.” Gurman replies, “Hello, Krassk.” After the staredoen, Gurman says, “We bought a rickshaw and we’re gonna start giving tourists rides through Nar Shaddaa.” Krassk says, “Great idea, but who’s gonna pull it?” Gruman replies, "We were thinking of Gord. " Gord picks him up and bellows in his face. Krassk says, “It’s never a good idea to upset a wookie.” Gruman replies, “OK,OK. It was just a thought. We’ll find someone else.” Mace says, “What about the homeless? They’re not doing anything.” Krassk sarcastically responds, “Great idea, nothing can go wrong with that brilliant idea.”
Scene changes to a street scene with Mace and Gruman interviewing three homeless dues. they have each one pull the cart for a block and time them and throw obstacles in their way to see if they can avoid them. They decide on the least fucked up on.
Just then, Laney walks by and Mace convinces her to be their first customer. Laney jumps in and the dude takes off. After a bit, they realize that he’s not coming back. They look for them and find Laney on the side of the road. Mace says, "I guess that could have went better. Laney curses, “Idiots…”

Aired on: Nar Shaddaa, Core Worlds

Episode 7 The Junior Mint


  • Episode begins in Krassk’s apartment.
  • Krassk, Gord, Gary, Laney, and Ruger are present
  • Krassk, Laney, and Ruger are sitting around the table and Gary’s tail is flipping around hitting everyone in the face.

Krassk: “So, Laney. How’s it going with your new artist boyfriend?”
Laney: “He’s kind of depressed. No one’s buying his art. And plus, he has stomach surgery tomorrow.”
When she says that, Mace burst in, fights off Gary for a moment and says, “Who’s having surgery?” Laney answers, and says who the doctor is.
Mace: “I know that guy. He owes me a favor. He says I could watch a surgery if I wanted to. You wanna go with me, Krassk?”
Krassk agrees.
Ruger: “This is all very fascinating, but I gotta go down to the unemployment office and see if I can get an extension.”

The next scene begins at the surgery room. Krassk and Mace are sitting in an elevated area directly above the table with some medical students. Halfway through the surgery, Mace shoves a box of candy in Krassk’s face.
Mace: “Wanna Junior Mint?”
Krassk says no and they argue and fight over the box until one mint pops out and lands in the dude’s open stomach. Luckily, no one notices.

Scene starts in Krassk apartment. Krassk and Mace are present. Laney walks in.
Laney: “Well…It’s bad. There was a complication with the surgery. They don’t know if he’s going to make it.”
Krassk: “Do you see what you did?” You killed him. Why did you have to force a mint on me?"
Mace: “Who turns down a Junior Mint? It’s got chocolate, peppermint…..they’re very refreshing.”
Just then, Ruger walks in and asks what’s all the ‘hubub’. Krassk explains.
Ruger: “Maybe I’ll buy some of his crappy art. The value will go up if he dies. Hey Laney, put me down for a thousand credits worth of his triangle aart crap.”

Scene opens in Krassk’s apartment the next day. Krassk, Ruger and Mace are sitting on the couch watching a popular sitcom called Steinberg.
Ruger: “This show’s pretty good.”
Mace: “It’s OK, but nothing happens. It’s like there’s no plot at all.”
While this is going on, Gary is eating Krassk’s table. Laney burst in.
Laney: “He’s gotten better. It looks like he’s gonna make it.”
They all head to the hospital, and Ruger looks very disappointed.

The final scene begins in the hospital room. Krassk Mace, Ruger, Laney, and her boyfriend are all together.
Laney’s Boyfriend: “It was you buying my art that gave me the will to live. You saved me.”
Ruger: “That’s great. I’m looking forward to years of enjoyment with all the triangles.”
The doctor walks in.
Doctor: “I don’t know what happened, but something staved off the infection, like some sort of higher power.”
Mace offerse him a Junior Mint.
Doctor: “I love these. They’re very refreshing.”

Aired on: Nar Shaddaa, Core Worlds

Episode 8 Fleas

Episode starts in Krassk’s apartment.
Krassk is watching TV and Gord is trying to catch Gary so he can give him a bath. Ruger walks in.
RUGER: “Well, I got the unemployment office to give me an extension. I made up a story that this company is about to hire me. If you get a holonet form them, I need you to answer and say you’re the hiring director for Vandalay Industries.”
KRASSK: “What the hell is that?”
RUGER: “It’s an arcihtect firm. You know I’ve always wanted to pretend I was an architect. They asked me what I’ve designed recently and I told them I designed the addition to the Imperial Museum.”
Krassk: “Aren’t you worried they’ll want to look at it?”
RUGER: “That’s the beauty of it. they can’t check it out ’cause someone crashed a freighter into it last year and tore it up.”
(The pilot was Dash Rendar’s brother.)
Krassk: “Well it looks like you’ve finally made something of yourself.”
Ruger tells Gord how to answer the phone. Gord growls at Gary and then Gary walks over and whips him with his tail.
KRASSK: “Gord doesn’t like to be told what to do.”

Ruger leaves just as Laney walks in. Laney tells Krassk that she just got a job with a publishing company. Krassk asks what is in the big envelope whe’s carrying.
LANEY: “It’s probably just some stuff about the company. What’s wrong with you, Krassk? Why do you keep scratching your leg?”
KRASSK: “I got these little bites all over my leg. I think they’re flea bites. How in the hell did I get fleas?”
Just then a freshly bathed (and very poofy) Gary comes running out and starts licking Laney.
LANDEY: “Get off me, you have fleas!”

Gord walks out and growls. Laney responds.
LANEY: “What do you mean he doesn’t have fleas? How else would they have gotten in here?”
Just then, Krassk kneels down and picks up a CHUNKY candy bar wrapper
KRASSK: “How did this get in here? Wait a minuted, I know the chunky that ate these CHUNKYs…Gruman!”
LANEY: “I got to take off. I don’t wanna carry that envelope all over town today. I’ll pick it up later.”
Krassk goes to Gruman’s apartment and bangs on the door.
GRUMAN: (answers) “Hello, Krassk.”
KRASSK: “Don’t ‘hello’ me, you gave me fleas.”
GRUMAN: “Don’t blame me for your flea problems. Perhaps you keep your apartment in a state of disrepair.”
KRASSK: “You know Gruman, the thing about fleas is that they itch and the more you think about, the more they itch. Crawling and itching and scratching.”
Gruman freaks out and starts violently scratching his neck.
GRUMAN: (scratching) “All right, all right I give up! I’ve got fleas!”
KRASSK: “The exterminator is coming tomorrow and you’re paying for it.”

The next day, Laney runs into Krassk on the street.
LANEY: “I need that envelope. It has a manuscript inside that I have to read.”
KRASSK: “You can’t get in there for 24 hours, It’s being fumigated.”

The next day, the fumigation is over.
Scene opens with Krassk and Gord sitting on the couch watching TV with Gary sprawled out across them. They can both barely see the TV because Gary is still very poofy from the previous bath. Laney comes through the front door.
LANEY: “Hey guys, I thought Ruger was here.”
KRASSK: “He’s in the bathroom.”
LANEY: “Well, I didn’t get the job, because I didn’t read that stupid manuscript in time.”
Mace walks in behind her, the phone rings and he answers.
MACE: “What? Vandalay? You’ve go the wrong number.”
Ruger hears through the bathroom door and busts through the door.
RUGER: (yelling) “Say Vandalay!”
Just as Mace hangs up the pone, Ruger falls on the floor (with his pants still down) and starts crying and hitting the floor.
KRASSK: (shaking head) “And wanna be my architect.”

Aired on: Nar Shaddaa, Core Worlds

Everybody Loves Krassk

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